My Romanian Diary Day 27: Ellen Show, no Twilight for me, thank you very much, we have zombies where I live

44.167 words. I am almost there. But my novel seems to continue beyond the 50.000 words I will hopefully accomplish tomorrow. The struggle will go on apparently, but I will not bother you with it anymore, until I have a complete first draft, at least.

I watched Ellen Show yesterday. There are reruns of the show on a Romanian channel, at 10 am Monday to Friday. They were at 1 am during the summer, I don’t know why they changed the time, I don’t really understand who is watching TV at 10 am.

I have discovered Ellen last summer, in one of my insomnia nights. I couldn’t believe I didn’t hear about her before! I could have watched her shows live when living in Canada damn it! She is such a funny lady. My loss, really!

She had the cast in Twilight on the yesterday’s show, so I guess it is not such an old one. I mean, wasn’t the sequel launched few weeks ago or so? I am not up to date with Twilight info, I am sorry, I don’t watch vampires, I don’t need it, I live in the country of vampires, don’t I?

Speaking of vampires, in some of the villages in the region I live, people still believe the death people might turn into a sort of zombies or vampires (we have a specific name for it)  if some things happen during the funeral, like, for example, a cat jumping over the dead body.

It is incredibly easy for a cat to do that, because we keep the dead in the living room, for three days, in an open coffin, so that everyone has a chance to come and say good bye.

I find this disturbingly creepy and I will never do it with my family. My mother is already devastated I won’t bury her according to the traditions. Well, fuck traditions, if I tape a Romanian funeral and show it to you, you will think it is a horror movie. I am not gonna put myself through that. I am still into living people and I strongly believe dead people belong to the ground.  Or to the fire.

By the way, when I suggested cremation to my parents they looked at me as if I was the devil himself. According to them, if they don’t go through all the process, they won’t find rest on the other side. And the process is a complicated one. Beside the three days display in the living room, then follow tens of give aways consisting in food, clothing even furniture at certain times during seven years. I don’t know the frequency.

Basically, we have to make sure the dead person doesn’t starve or walks around naked on the other side, for at least seven years. We are assuring them a start up in hell/heaven/outer space. After seven years, they are on their own, so help them god, or Lucifer or ET, depending where they go.

Back to zombies. Once you assume someone turned into a zombie, you simply dig the body out at night and stick a pole into the heart, just like Buffy used to do. My boss, a famous Ethnologist, made a documentary for Discovery Europe, regarding the topic.

I remember I studied Folklore for a semester at University and I had to learn about burial traditions for one exam and I couldn’t sleep at all the night before the exam. I was terrified by all the vampires and zombies, I thought about them for days.

So no Twilight for me, no thank you.

Off topic, have you read my sexy confession yet? Isn’t it sweet how an embarrassing moment becomes a funny memory in time? That is why I love time, because it heals negative feelings.

I have no story for you tomorrow, but one of these days I am gonna disclose the revelations over friendship I had this year. So stay tuned!




2 thoughts on “My Romanian Diary Day 27: Ellen Show, no Twilight for me, thank you very much, we have zombies where I live

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